Hemsworth Grammar School Magazine 1937-38 No. 41 Autumn Term

School Notes and News

Last term marked the end of the first chapter of the School's history. With the retirement of Mr. Jenkinson and the death of Miss Griffiths, the School lost its leaders, around whom had grown up what is now known as Hemsworth Grammar School. On the last morning the head told the School that Miss Griffiths was seriously ill, but no one, save the Staff, knew how seriously. This made it possible for the boys and girls to enter with zest into the ceremony of the presentations which expressed in small measure the appreciation of the work Mr. Jenkinson had done here. Mr. Crossland's sincere and witty speech was thoroughly enjoyed, and the homely brogue of Eastwood, as he presented the teak garden seat from the woodwork class, was greeted with hearty laughter. It was not until after School had dismissed that Mr. Jenkinson told the Prefects the real seriousness of the news concerning Miss Griffiths. He attended the funeral at the little country church of Llangyniew near Welshpool (North Wales) where she had been brought up, and a memorial service, held the following Sunday in the Parish Church, Hemsworth was attended by members of the Staff and pupils.

This term began on September 15th., when we welcomed our new Head, Mr. R.W. Hamilton, who comes to us from Bishop Auckland. We would offer to him our best wishes for his happiness here with us, and we hope his reign may be marked by years of successful progress in all the real things for which our School stands.

Mr. R.W. Hamilton Headmaster 1937-1967

Miss Shortridge has been appointed Senior Mistress, and to her we offer our congratulations and best wishes for success in her new responsibilities. As examination results from last term, we have to record that of the ten pupils who sat Higher School Certificate, six gained the full certificate. We would congratulate Firman on gaining a County Major Scholarship with which he has gone up to Cambridge. In School Certificate, forty sat the examination, thirty-six passed, and thirteen gained exemption from Matriculation. An innovation has taken place with regard to Houses. On Thursday mornings instead of prayers in Hall, each House meets for its own service conducted by the House Master or House Mistress, and this is followed, by a short business meeting. It is hoped that this will result in the formation of a real feeling for the House and a more intimate knowledge of each other in it. Those members of the School who stay to dinner have been given the privilege, if they wish to avail themselves of it, of listening to the dinner-hour broadcasts of good music on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and this has been much appreciated. On wet days the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth forms have had dancing in the Hall during the dinner hour. On November 3rd., a party of Fifth and Sixth form pupils visited Ackworth to attend a performance of "Le medecin malgre lui" and "Gringoire" which was much appreciated by all. Speech Day took place on Wednesday November 10th. in the Hippodrome, when the visitors were Mr. A.L. Binns, Director of the West Riding County Education Committee, and Mrs. Binns who very kindly distributed the prizes and cups. Miss Townsend and all who took part in the musical programme are to be congratulated upon a finely executed and varied performance. Armistice Day on November 11th., was kept as usual by a service in the Hall, at which the Two Minutes were observed, and the Headmaster addressed the School. The hymns "O valiant hearts" and "For all the Saints" were sung, appropriate prayers said, and the National Anthem brought an impressive service to a close. On November 18th., the Osiris Players again visited the School, this year to give "As You Like It". The whole School was present and much enjoyed the performance. Rehearsals for the School Play, which this year is "She Stoops to Conquer", are going forward, and we offer all the actors our best wishes for their success.

As Christmas and the holidays approach we wish Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton, the Staff and all our readers a very happy Christmas and enjoyable holidays.
 
Prefects - 1937 - 38
 E. Stamp ( Head girl ) Walker ( Head Boy )
 M. Berry                          Allen
 O. Boulton                     Bailey
 M. Cunningham           Chapman C.
 J. Earl                             Courtney
 E. Harris                        Jessop E.
 M. Ineson                       Johnson
 A. Jenkinson                 Gleave
 K. Lawton                       Mellor
 A. Rogerson                  Moore
 J. Senior                         Nuttall
 E. Smith                          Perry
 R. Sterry                          Robinson
 M. Twaddle                    Wilson L.

 C. White

Sports Day July 23rd 1937  The two Headmasters meet.

Holgate House Notes
This year we have new members both from amongst the pupils and the Staff. Miss Bromley and Mr. J.D.Hamilton take over, along with Miss Clifford and Mr. Collette, the onerous task of House Mistress and Mastership. We welcome them and it is our hope that they will find pleasure in being in Holgate House. In welcoming new members of the School, we express the same wish to them. This term there is little of note to record of House activities. The system of House Prayers started this year promises to be very useful when inter-house competitions are in full swing. It brings the house more together, and matters can be brought up and collectively discussed by members. We can look back upon a successful year, in which we carried off three cups; Hockey and Rugby, and, .most important, the House Challenge Cup. This is quite gratifying, Holgate, but remember, no resting upon laurels. There are cups we have not won and these we are out to 'get', as well as hold our own. It is recorded that Holgate once won the Challenge Cup three times successively, what about it Holgate? Continued success is possible as long as we have active enthusiasm and no slacking: it is up to you. Our Sports' Captain is leaving this term. We offer to him the thanks of the House for his fine services to Holgate and field and in School. Good luck, Nuttall!

A. Rogerson
Gleave

Talbot House Notes
As this is the beginning of a new school there are many newcomers whom we welcome and urge to support the House. They can do this by exerting themselves in every way to gain points. There are no Inter-House competitions this term, but enthusiastic people can practice for the Netball, Hockey and Rugby matches which will be played next term. We congratulate the people who have contributed "Send-ups", but we would like a great many more. We would also like more magazine contributions as these are a good way of gaining points, besides making the School Magazine more entertaining. However, if you are not good at games and cannot gain points in any other way, remember there are always Stars. There are a few people who have too many stripes this term, but we are confident that they will do better next term. This year Talbot has lost a very keen and enthusiastic worker in Miss Shortridge. We welcome Miss Nicholson and Miss Walker who have already proved very helpful. We thank them together with Mr. Storer and Mr. Scourfield for their valuable assistance throughout the term.
T. Cunningham
Mellor

Price House Notes
This term we take pleasure in welcoming all the new pupils who have come to swell the ranks of Price House, and exhort them to do their best to keep up the traditions of the House. There has not been a great deal of Inter-House Competition this term, but, however, there is stil the old question of Stars and Stripes. The smaller members of the House should realise that the acquisition of a large number of Stripes, with a corresponding scarcity of Stars, is not conducive towards a high position in the House Cup Competirion. There are still one or two people who seem to be unaware of this. This term there has been introduced the innovation of House Prayers, once a week. This is undoubtedly a good idea, as it enables members of the House to get to know each other, and leads towards unity in the House. Lastly, we wish to thank, Miss Kenward, Miss Euler, Mr. Austin and Mr. Manning for their continuous help throughout the term.

K. Lawton

Wilson

Guest House Notes

Dear Guestites,

It is many years since we won the House Challenge Cup, but this year we are going to make a real effort to win it, and every single member of Guest must do his or her share. We want you to work well, and to play well. If you work well, your form-position will rise, and you will get stars; if you play well, you will help your House to win the Rugby, Hockey, Netball and other competitions. Try hard to avoid getting stripes, which are not things to be proud of, but things which bring grey hairs prematurely to your House Captains, House

Master, and House Mistress. Here are a few suggestions.Write a couple of magazine contributions each term, and give them in to the editor, or to your House Captains. Be sure to be in the first six or seven in the quarterly orders, for then you will score points for your House. Enter for any of the competitions, such as Reading, Musical, and Dramatic competitions, and go in for them whole-heartedly. Just do your best, and if you all do this, we shall be sure to win some of the coveted cups.

We extend a hearty welcome to our new members, and trust that they will play a great part in our endeavour. You know, Guestites, we, the older members of the School, can remember the last time Guest won the Cup, and we should like our house to win it again ere we leave the School forever. We shall be only too pleased to help any of the House in any way; do not be afraid to come and ask us anything, we are quite human. Miss Prince and Mr. Shiells, our leaders, are keenly interested in our progress; they work hard to encourage and support us, and we thank them heartily.
Well, Guestites that's all. Think about what we have said, and above all, do your best.
E. Stamp
Allen

House Cups 1936-37

Challenge Cup.
1st. Holgate 930pts.
2nd. Price 785pts.
3rd. Talbot 699pts.
4th. Guest 5271/2 pts.

Arts Cup
1st. Talbot  45 pts.
2nd. Price 40 pts.
3rd. Holgate  37 pts.
4th. Guest 28 pts.

Football  Cup.
1st. Holgate 60 pts.
2nd. Talbot 30 pts.
3rd. Price 20 pts.
4th. Guest 10 pts.

Sports Cup

1st. Price  110pts.
2nd. Holgate 631/2pts.
3rd. Talbot 45pts.
4th. Guest 351/2pts.

Swimming  Cup
1st. Talbot 38 pts.
2nd. Holgate 26 pts.
3rd.  Guest and Price 18pts.

Hockey Cup
1st. Holgate 20 pts.
2nd. = Price and Guest 10 pts.
4th. Talbot  0 pts.

Sports Day Winners

L-R: 1, 2, 3

Letter to the Editor

Plain Janes
Dear Madam,
I am about to express a grievance which I think all the budding actors and actresses have against the casting of our house plays etc. Plain Jane (I will use this name for want of a better), who has never had her ability tested may wish to act for her House in the Dramatic Competition. She hopefully puts her name down on the list, but has, sad to say, no chance against the star of her House, Gloria Goldilocks. When casting, the producers say, on seeing Gloria's name, "We must have her, she will be capital for Little Mary the heroine." Poor Jane is overlooked and her genius once again hidden. The School, on seeing Gloria, once again, heaves a sigh of disappointment. You see, they get tired of the same person. What a nice surprise for the School, and Plain Jane, if she were chosen and her ability brought to light.

Games

Dear Madam,
Nearly all the girls in the School would like to play cricket in summer. It is hardly just that only the boys should be allowed to play cricket and the girls have to be content with rounders which most of them think are 'weak' and unexciting. Sometimes if one of us is lucky enough to get a court, which the Seniors have not booked, we can play tennis, but this is not very often. The hockey pitch would make a good cricket pitch and we need not interfere with the boys' game. Lots of girls' schools play cricket, with whom we could get fixtures, and I think that we should be allowed to play as well.
Yours truly,
"Cricket Enthusiast".

Dear Madam,
I have a grievance concerning the winter sport of the boys namely Rugby Football. Most boys who have left Elementary Schools to attend this School are used to the game Soccer. The School game if it were soccer, would be played better because of this fact and therefore matches might be won more decisively. Some of the boys who learn Rugby settle down to the game, but others still think Soccer is the best game. The boys who like soccer I think should be allowed to play, and land could be purchased for a Soccer field. The two games could be successful as in other schools who play both Rugby and Soccer. The girls of this School have two winter games Netball and Hockey and two summer games, Rounders and Tennis. I think as this is the case, that boys should. have two winter gaines at least. If we had two games, more boys could be on the fields during a period, and therefore people could have, maybe, a period more every week for games. I expect that there is some definite reason for having Rugby only, but if it could be arranged I think that Soccer should also become a School game.
Yours truly,
"Foster" lIla., Price.

Dear Madam,
I have a grievance to express to you, it is, why are people forced to play games in school? Some people are thoroughly bored with and made to dislike games just because they are forced to play in games at school. If these people play games of their own accord they often enjoy them. The games lesson is supposed to be for their enjoyment,so they should not be forced to join in, if they do not enjoy them. I suggest that this kind of person should not be made to play games if she does not wish and that she should have something else to do.
Yours truly,
"Fourth Former", Holgate

Dear Madam,
I write to protest against the system of compulsory games for Senior pupils. It seems that the possibility of a personal dislike for the particular game of the season is not considered. Personally I enjoy Rugby and play willingly,even keenly, but the time will come when I shall have to play cricket; I dislike cricket, and yet I shall be forced to play,and perhaps punished if I attempt to avoid it. In the same way I know people who dislike football intensely and yet they are driven to play it, because it is said to be good for them, or discipline, or perhaps both. Now these people are entirely healthy and can be relied on to exercise themselves adequately, and so the idea of protecting themselves against their own sloth is ridiculous. More ridiculous is the other idea, of preserving discipline. The whole idea of discipline is to control the good of the majority. But what earthly good does it do the games player to force his game upon the unwilling. Perhaps you may argue that it is necessary to have uniformity, but it has been illustrated in the major issues of politics, religion and other forms of thought that forced uniformity is always bad. In recognising those who do not wish to play games as a minority to be controlled, although they are not sinners but dissenters, a resentment is raised against them, which is both unfortunate and unnecessary.

Should the argument be advanced that games are as much a subject as Latin or French, it can be answered in two ways. It can be resolvod into a question of uniformity and answered in the way outlined above, or it can be answered by saying that it is not logical to allow senior pupils to choose the subjects they wish to study, and still not to give them the option of choosing or rejecting games.

After stating the case against compulsory games, I ask the powers that be, to consider the matter, and allow the senior pupils freedom of choice in this, as in the academic subjects of the curriculum.
Yours etc.
"A.G. Wilson", Va., Talbot

Buses
Dear Madam,
The 'buses which run on the South Elmsall - Barnsley and Pontefract - Barnsley routes and vice-versa, are not at all suitable for pupils who wish to go home for dinner. We come out of School at 12.30 p.m., missing a 'bus by five minutes, if we went straight into the cloak-room and. got our coats and went down for the first 'bus. By missing this 'bus, we have a quarter of an hour's wait for the next one. This may not seem very long, but on an awfully cold day, it seems more like an hour. Not only do we have to wait, but when the 'bus comes in, the driver and the conductor talk until we feel as if we could get out and push it! When we do Finally get home, if we catch the earlier 'bus of the two, we have from ten to fifteen minutes for our dinner, as a rule. Whereas, if we catch the 'bus which comes at 1.45 p.m. or should do, we are either late for class or else have to run all the way up to School, which is not very pleasant after a good meal.

The 'bus timing was quite suitable before the Traction Company bought the Lancashire and Yorkshire Company, and if the Traction Company would have their 'buses running at the same time as they were previously, I, in company with all other pupils of the School, should be satisfied.
Yours truly,
 "Anon" IVa. Price.

Dear Madam,

I am writing to complain about the lack of fresh air in the 'buses which run to and from Hemsworth and the surrounding villages and towns. Plenty of windows are provided but these are rarely opened, because if some fresh air lover opens a window somebody else always complains about it, and then the conductor is obliged to shut it. Some people do not travel well in 'buses and these would be helped considerably by a little fresh air.

I think it would be a very good idea if all 'buses were divided into two parts. Front and back of the 'bus or two separate decks could be quite easily arranged. One part could be kept for people who do not like fresh air and provided with a few windows. The other part, for fresh air lovers, should have plenty of windows and a sunshine roof. I think this would be welcomed gladly by all concerned.
Yours truly,
 "Traveller" Guest

The Girls' Cloakroom

Dear Madam,
Many girls to whom I have spoken have a grievance about the girls not possessing a changing room. If there can only possibly be one changing room then the boys should have it, but why cannot there be two.  At the present moment the girls must change in the cloakroom where anyone who passes by, whether it is boy or girl, can glance in. It is not very pleasant for the girls who have gym blouses, and have to take off their ordinary blouse, to see someone passing by, and dash to hide behind a door or something. Even though the 'someone' may only be glancing in, it is bad enough. We  ought, if we do have one, to have cubicles in it. Two girls in one cubicle, for instance, and perhaps, like many Grammar Schools I know, have showers, soap and towels to complete this much desired toilet. This 'shower' and toilet would take a little time for the girls to use, but I think that most of us would even sacrifice about five minutes of our gym for this pleasure.
Yours truly,
"Fourth Former"

Dear Madam,
Knowing that you always welcome letters of advice and criticism I would like to draw your attention to the letter published in last term's magazine in which a First Former pointed out the fact that the only two mirrors which the girls possess are always monopolized by the Upper School.

This is quite true but the First Former has not considered the fact that there are only two mirrors for the use of about two hundred girls and as a large number of Upper School girls have their hair 'Permed' it takes a lot more keeping tidy than that of the little straight-haired First Formers.

If the girls had at least two more mirrors I am sure it would be much more convenient and would enable the Little First Formers to comb their hair in peace.
Yours truly,
Picturegoer, Price

Head Pupils
Dear Madam,
I think that the system of choosing the head Boy and Girl is a poor one. I do not wish you to think that I am dissatisfied with the persons that the Headmaster has picked, but I think that the School should have a say in it. I think the Headmaster should pick the seniors most suitable for the position and then let the boys from the second form upwards vote for the Head Boy, and the girls from the second form upwards vote for the Head Girl. The first form should not be allowed to vote because they, being newcomers to the School, do not know the character of the 'candidates'. The advantage of this system is that, being allowed to vote, the boys pick the most popular boy and similarly the girls pick the most popular girl.
Yours truly,
"Fair Play", Holgate

(Popularity is not an infallible proof of suitability for the work in hand. Ed.)

The Magazine

Dear Madam,
Although you choose the articles for the School Mag. we seldom hear from you. This fact I think should be looked into, and I suggest that in the School Magazine there should be a special page reserved under the heading "The Editor's Chat", where you could tell us the general news, and what sort of contributions we should send in to you to make the mag. interesting etc. It would, I think improve this magazine considerably if we had such a page. Assuming we have this page, may I suggest that it should be divided into three sections and may I also suggest how each section should be used. The first paragraph should be entirely yours, madam, to put in whatsoever you desire, we hope that you will give us the general news, stress the articles in the mag. which you think there should be more of, etc. The second section should be reserved for the witty members of the School, by this I mean the people who are everlastingly making up jokes or creating conundrums, such works of art should certainly be published. This section would truly add interest to the mag. In the Junior School there has been some talk about a 'Swap Column'. A certain junior wishes to 'swap' his pen for a Tiddlywinks set or a mouth organ, but the trouble lies in the fact, with whom is he to exchange? I suggest that the third section should be used for the 'Swap Column!'
Yours truly,
"Quanko". IVa.

Christmas Parties
Dear Madam,
Why do the Sixth Form only have a party at Christmas. Why can't the rest of the School have one as well? I do not think that the Sixth Form should have all the privileges and the rest of the School have hardly any at all. Other schools have individual form parties. It could easily be arranged for the fourth, fifth, and sixth forms to have a party together, and the first, second, and third forms could have a party as well. I am sure that most of the School would agree with me on this point, because some members of the School are not as fortunate as others, and may have to stay at home all Christmas, whereas if we had upper arid lower School parties they would be able at least to have one enjoyable evening. Of course there are some people in the School who would not agree, for example, the sixth themselves, but I do not think that this matter should be considered.
Yours truly,
"Indignant One"

Calendar

Jan.  12th (Wednesday) Term Begins.
Jan.  24th  Osiris Players.
Feb.  7th  Marks and Orders,
Feb.  24th  Musical Competition.
Feb.  25th  General Knowledge Examination.
Feb.  28th  Half Term.
March  1st  Marks and Orders.
March  8th-11th  VI and V Examinations.
March  21st  Marks and Orders.
March 24th  Pontefract Musical Festival.
March 30thand 31st Staff Play.
April 4th   Dramatic Competition.
April 5th   Term Ends
April 27th (Wednesday) Summer Term Begins.

Why do we?
Have you ever asked yourself, "Why do I go to Hemsworth Grammar School?" Perhaps you have not, or if you have you have just said, "Well,it doesn't cost me anything, so why not?" Yet there are many reasons why you should come to our 'Alma Mater'. We learn various subjects. Why? Well, let us look at the various subjects we take at School, and see why we learn them. Take History for a beginning. Why do we learn History? Well, in History, wars come like clockwork, and by careful study we can work out when the next is due. Very helpful, you know! Then there is French. Why learn French? Well you see, when you have made bags of money, you'll be sure to want to travel in France. Then you can impress your friends by talking fluently to the waiter in French (perhaps!) before you find out that in most first - class restaurants in France the waiters speak English. Anyhow let's get on to Latin, a seemingly useless subject. But look what fine fellows the Rornans were, always busy making roads, drawing up laws, and loving the ladies. Then again think how nice "Alma Mater", "Labor ipse voluptas", and the others sound. The've got to know Latin to be a top-notcher, "Ah, sans doute, tibi opus est!" Looking at Maths, we see its immense importance. You need a smattering of Maths to enable you to tot up the income tax you've got to pay to His Majesty's Government. Ah dear, pay up with a smile! Closely akin (nice word) to Maths is Physics. Now if you've been educated in Physics you can mend any electric wires that get broken - and probably need mending yourself afterwards! You can also mend (?) the wireless. Now let us take English - how we all love English! Still, you know, you get to know some big words which might come in useful for letter writing, when you start courting (or perhaps I shoudn't have said that!). Passing on to Physical Jerks, ask yourself, "Why do we do Gym?" Well, lads, if we didn't do Gym, what would Mr. Nelson do? Why he'd have nothing to do. Oh, mon dieu, terrible, let's do Gym boys.

Finally, and most important, we come to Hemsworth Grammar School, because it's the best School in England, and so say all of us - Don't let me hear anyone grumbling about it henceforth.
"Robin", Guest.

Men are at sometime master of their fate.
Alfred James Screwman was an eccentric old fellow, a relic of the mid-Victorian era who had somehow been misplaced by old Father Time; - perhaps for a joke or perhaps through ill-temper on the old reaper's part. He lived in the suburbs of London in one of those quaint old squares that once used to echo to the sound of coach and four, and the crack from the whip of M'Lord's postilion. The houses, though now decrepit had something of their former dignity, in spite of the profusion of weed that choked their gardens. I have already said that Mr. Screwman was eccentric, any burglar would have soon found that out, for his house contained the most elaborate and amazing system of burglar alarms that human ingenuity could invent.The dining room was converted into a laboratory which was littered with the most amazing number and variety of articles. There were test-tubes and retorts, books balanced in piles, some fish in a bowl, and a case full of butterflies, birds' eggs, and bits of stone. This room was the pride of old Screwman's life, it contained all his work, which consisted of fiddling with anything scientific. But all this is getting us away from my story.

One fine May morning he set off for his usual walk round the park looking very dignified. It was Mr. Screwman's one idea apart from his scientific studies 'to maintain his dignity; whatever the place or the situation, and it is quite a fact that he did live up to his ideal. His clothes were mid- Victorian. His neighbours often speculated on which tailor he visited,but they'd never guess; he made them himself! Mr. Screwman had to cross several busy roads on his visit to the park and this he abhorred. He hated London's traffic with a fierce and intense hatred., owing to the many narrow escapes he had had. This particular morning he crossed the road deep in thought when a taxi tore past with its claxon horn blaring. He jumped out of the way, lost his balance and fell into an ornamental fish pond at the side of the road. He was furious, and to make matters worse the taxi stopped a few yards further down the road, and the cabman stuck his head out of the window and laughed uproariously. " You fellow! you lunatic, you ought to be jailed with the rest of your fellows."' old Screwman spluttered, as he removed some weeds from round his neck. "Taxi sir!" said. Mr. Smith touching his cap sarcastically, and burst once more into another fit of laughter.

It had to be done, there was nothing else for it. Mr. Screwman clambered painfully in looking like a second hand scarecrow after an April shower. His dignity was ruined, he had been laughed at 'by a common London cabman; and then of all things to travel home in his taxi. Mr.Screwman's hatred for traffic and especially for taxis grew a thousandfold. "Ah," he thought, "it seems my fate to be pulled up by one of these travelling tincans but I'll show 'em'." The taxi stopped with a jerk and he descended. to the accompaniment of a rhythmic squelch! squelch! from his boots. Thus the dignified James Screwman entered his honourable homestead.

Late that night as Mr. Screwman sat toasting his feet by his own patent oil stove, a brilliant idea struck him, as is usual with a genius and especially a cracked genius. He at once set to work mixing powders here and grinding uncouth mixtures in a pestle and mortar. At last, everything was ready, he mixed the whole lot together and tied them tightly into a parcel and placed them in his overcoat pocket. "That's that," he muttered, "if a taxi knocks me down and kills me that will send the driver to paradise along with me".

Two or three days passed and he took great care on crossing the road, with the result that he encountered no further disaster or blows to his dignity.

Friday morning came. A fine day with the sun shining and the birds singing. Mr. Screwman took the umbrella from the hall-stand; an umbrella was an integral part of Mr. Screwman even during heat waves. After strolling along for a while, he came to the scene of his "Waterloo" of a few days previously. The fish were swimming placidly round the pond and continued to do so under Screwman's technical gaze. Suddenly he spotted one with a red stripe running across its back. "Dear me I have never seen  that one before," he muttered, "I wonder what family it belongs to? Honk! Honk! went a klaxon horn dead behind him. Mr. Screwman in his hurry to escape fell flat on his back. The taxi skidded to a standstill. Whoosh! out of his pocket came a cloud of smoke and flame, and sundry passers-by saw the finest firework display for many a year. The bomb had failed to explode but it had succeeded handsomely in setting his coat on fire. Willing hands seized him, he found himself sailing through mid-air; then with a terrific splash he hit the water, encompassed in a cloud of steam. For the second time that week Alfred James Screwman found himself in a fishpond!
R.H. Williamson, Talbot